downunder update

Sad to say, but the Hills Hoist is becoming rare these days. Have you ever watched a way of life passing and no one seems to care?

Once the Hills Hoist was synonymous with our way of life and every backyard across the continent had one. Usually with a few socks and a towel to dry in the wind.

My generation grew up agile, lean and lissome from countless hours swinging around and around. I would start at the back door, take a deep breath, break into a long, loping run and then literally fly through the air, across the rhubarb patch, to grasp the bars in one fluid movement. We all did.

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Stunned by the news that Vegemite is banned from the Olympic Games, I can only conclude that the wily Chinese have deliberately set out to stick a spoke in our wheel.

They have discovered the secret to our strength, stamina and, yes, success. We are vegemite-powered! You are what you eat, and what true blue Aussie is not a happy little vegemite?

Vegemite is part of our culture, like beer. And rightly so. It’s a by-product of the brewery, a mixture of yeast and spice additives, full of essential proteins and minerals, and a rich natural source of Vitamin B.

Australians are raised on vegemite and it’s not unusual to smudge a bit on a dummy (translation = pacifier), I can assure you this keeps the child quiet for a considerable amount of time. Whole armies have been fed on Vegemite, it lies behind the very bravery of the Anzacs.

Vegemite is a national icon and a mighty symbol of pride. For some it has deep significance as an ordeal of childhood through which only the fittest will pass. For others it’s a patriotic duty.

There must be many a research paper waiting to happen on Vegemite, not the least being its miraculous morning-after properties. If you have never tasted this black paste, wait till you have a hangover. You have a rare treat, and a cure, ahead.

Further reading : If Marie-Antoinette had suggested the peasants eat vegemite instead of brioche, the French Revolution may never have happened. “Let them eat vegemite”says Canny Granny.

Heritage Icons are popular concepts of heritage, worthy for their role in the cultural lives of Australians.

I don’t mean places such as Uluru or Bondi Beach, but objects which have cultural worthiness too. The Sydney Harbour Bridge springs to mind, the Eureka Flag, stirring symbol of the only armed rebellion in our history, and heaven help us if we overlook the Hills Hoist, found in backyards across the continent. These icons are burned deep into the Australian psyche and it’s fitting that they should be recognised and placed on the Heritage Register.

But there’s one heritage icon, lovingly honoured in the Australian list of things, places, and ideas typically and uniquely Australian, that must win the award for the ugliest sight to ever litter the vista. Read the rest of this entry »

Cheeta the Chimp, co-star of a dozen Tarzan films, is to publish his memoirs in October. The publisher would not reveal the advance payment, but said the sum was substantial - not bananas. Read the rest of this entry »

Australian Monopoly

I had a look at the latest Australian version of Monopoly. Tells you a lot about the real estate values. I’m told that the good folk who live up north on the much-vaunted Sunshine Coast are pretty peed off that their popular tourist spot is seen as the least desirable piece of real estate in Australia. The Sunny Coast and the Great Barrier Reef have replaced downmarket Old Kent Road and Whitechapel as the cheapest spots on the new board, while the Barossa Valley and Adelaide have scored the prime real estate positions. A bit harsh. Read the rest of this entry »