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	<title>Canny Granny Galore</title>
	<link>http://www.downunderupdate.com</link>
	<description>There&#039;s More to Grannies than You Think</description>
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		<title>Pensioner at Large</title>
		<description><![CDATA[This plucky pensioner led police on a low-speed chase around Middlesbrough &#8211; and then gave officers the slip. The lukewarm pursuit started after he caused traffic chaos by crawling down the fast lane of a busy dual carriageway. Police asked the stubborn senior citizen to pull over. But he defiantly cranked his battery-powered mobility scooter [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.downunderupdate.com/2007/08/pensioner-at-large/</link>
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		<title>Rubbish is in the eye of the Beholder</title>
		<description><![CDATA[When you see someone searching through rubbish bins you probably have one of two reactions: pity or disgust. Save your reactions. It could be me. I am a student of Neology, the science of going through what people have thrown out on the street. As a pioneer neologist, I have turned &#8220;field walking,&#8221; which is [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.downunderupdate.com/2007/08/rubbish-is-in-the-eye-of-the-beholder/</link>
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		<title>Take a taxi instead</title>
		<description><![CDATA[My Council Home Help girl has been going on and on at me about my excessive use of paper towels. Well, I ask you, what else does a lady of genteel upbringing do when she is a little incontinent from time to time? But the blasted girl never lets up about me destroying the forests, [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.downunderupdate.com/2007/08/take-a-taxi-instead/</link>
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		<title>The Dancing Belly</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;ve taken up belly dancing. And now I know it&#8217;s actually called Raqs Sharqi. What really impressed me was the flyer pushed through my letter box which clearly explained that &#8230; Many see Raqs Sharqi as a woman&#8217;s dance, celebrating the sensuality and power of being a mature woman. A common school of thought believes [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.downunderupdate.com/2007/07/the-dancing-belly/</link>
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		<title>Snake Sign Solution</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I live near a football ground and, although I have nothing against football fans, sometimes their manners after a game aren&#8217;t the best. Like taking a leak in my front garden. Well, I think I&#8217;ve found the answer. Austrian officials fed up with motorists stopping to urinate by the roadside have put up fake snake [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.downunderupdate.com/2007/05/134/</link>
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		<title>Developers win again</title>
		<description><![CDATA[A huge Chinese Developer has finally won and defeated little home owner Wu Pin. For more than 3 years this home has been stuck in the middle of a construction site in a pit in Chongqing city. The developers want to turn the area into a $40m &#8216;Broadway&#8217; square, including apartments and a shopping mall, [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.downunderupdate.com/2007/05/developers-win-again/</link>
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		<title>Beautiful Cleo</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I still say that Cleopatra was beautiful. I know there&#8217;s been disparaging remarks made about her nose before, but this coin reveals that she had a pointed chin, thin lips and sharp, aqualine nose. Somewhat like myself in fact. Better than Marc Antony anyway, with his bulging eyes, thick neck and nasty-looking hook nose. This [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.downunderupdate.com/2007/05/beautiful-cleo/</link>
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		<title>Pensioner turns vicious</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I see that Rosemarie Hamilton-Meikle, a normally placid pensioner of 80 good years, attacked 3 wild boars in Dartmoor, sending fear into the hearts of the savage beasts. The brutes had the ill-luck to come across her dachsund as he scuttered around under a bush. I heard a terrible screaming noise and I thought my [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.downunderupdate.com/2007/01/pensioner-turns-vicious/</link>
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		<title>Finally &#8230;</title>
		<description><![CDATA[After over a month of fires, I have returned to my little cottage. In the old days, I would have been standing there with a wet bag on my head and another in my hands beating at the embers on the firebreak, but not these days. These days I get sent away instead. For safekeeping. [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.downunderupdate.com/2006/12/finally/</link>
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	<item>
		<title>Time changes</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I get so confused with my modern appliances. Especially when I have to adjust the time. I can change my bedside clock, that&#8217;s just winding a few knobs at the back, but I don&#8217;t even know how to open my kitchen clock. And I have just noticed that everything has a little clock in it! [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.downunderupdate.com/2006/10/time-changes/</link>
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