Feb 01 2008
Our Beer
What is it about beer and Australians? Prime Ministers and plumbers somehow become more trustworthy when spotted downing a large glass, and our celebrities love a photo opportunity with a cold can in hand as though there is something special about our beer which instantly bestows credibility and bonhomie.
Do they think it makes them look ordinary?
Or perhaps working-class, (as opposed to chardonnay socialist), or rugged and virile (no hint of the effeminate here) a valiant attempt to look like the bloke next door. The bloke who lives next door to me, a down to earth electrician, takes a stubbie of sweet cider as his poison. I don’t mind a beer myself, summer evenings are lightened with lager, very bland, very smooth, and served very, very cold.
Beer is part of our history, Captain Cook brought barrels of it with him when he sailed up the Eastern Coast to claim the whole continent for England. It was a popular way of preserving drinking water, as the fermentation process destroyed the stinking reek of the foul water-barrels. In a country too hot for brewing ale and, most probably to disguise the taste, the practice of serving the beer cold was quickly accepted.
But the preferred drink was rum. Rum was so popular that for a time it became a semi-official currency and because of the enormous problem of drunkeness, beer was promoted as a safer and healthier alternative. They drink a lot of rum up North which doubtless accounts for the bizarre practices of dwarf-throwing, long-serving Premiers in the prime of their senility and other signs of general moral lassitude.
I don’t recommend you have a night out with Bundaberg rum. (Unless you suffer from a serious sugar deficiency, just looking at a bottle has been known to loosen fillings).
In Melbourne we dismiss Fosters in favour of VB (actually a lager). Overall, this so-called original Australian beer, Foster’s Lager, has relatively low appeal at home. On the international stage, it ranks in the top 10 biggest-selling beer brands, but accounts for just 1 per cent of the domestic beer market. In Britain, XXXX competes with Fosters.
Dark beers and Stout have a venerable history here, and the large number of Australians with Irish roots ensure that good quality stouts are still made for the local market.
If you find yourself in a pub and compelled to order a beer, don’t be confused by the choice of taps, boutique bottles or glass sizes, ask the Bar staff what they would recommend. The different varieties are very similar, for after all, beer is only beer. Just make sure it’s cold.
